On the benefits of having "artistic affairs"
Why you should cheat on your primary creative practice
Non-monogamy (in the context of people) is having a mainstream moment. I read this is a little bit because of Molly Roden Winter’s recently published memoir about her open-marriage, More. I also read it might be a little bit because of the Pandemic-driven cultural moment of carpe diem that has been happening since about 2021. Regardless of why the idea is cute right now—or even what you think of it, tbh—it has some interesting applications in creativity, art, and making.
I first encountered the idea of non-monogamy in creativity in an episode of Elizabeth Gilbert’s podcast Magic Lessons called “Sexy, Dirty, Nasty, Wicked”. In it, Gilbert helps a teacher rediscover her desire for painting via a secret affair with her own art.
It’s an idea that has stuck with me. I have frequent “artistic affairs” of my own, and often recommend my creative coaching clients do the same. Below I share some of the benefits of having a creative side-piece, as well as guidance on how to start the affair.
Keep going!
Lucy
So, what are the benefits of a creative side-piece?
It creates space for lightness
Because it’s for no-one but you, there’s just no need to be serious. You don’t need anyone to think you’re a genius, or even modestly skilled. You just need to revel in being unburdened and making stuff for fun.
It creates space for pure self-expression
Like I said, it’s for no-one but you so there’s no need to be anything but gloriously, raucously yourself. There’s nothing like a creative side-piece project for letting your little weirdsies rip!
It creates space for desire
When we give ourselves space to make for no-one but ourselves, obligation is erased and we’re reminded of our creative desire, feeling again the pull toward modes of expression that have become rote or tedious.
And how do I get one for myself, exactly?
Find a project or idea you’re excited about but have pushed aside in favor of more pressing work. Consider playing around with a project outside your expertise, or primary art form.
Tell no-one you’re working on it, and don’t share with any kind of audience. This is all for you—an opportunity to use creativity as a journal, and revel in making.
Keep inner-critics out of the room. If they pop up saying the stuff you’re making is junk, tell them that’s the point. If they pop up saying you’re wasting your time, remind them great work requires play and can happen anywhere.
Make it exactly how you want it. Revel in guilty pleasures and cheesy ideas. Put discernment aside, and go with yourself and what you love.
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