Why you must grab all the marshmallows
On using envy, making a map of lack, and shipping ideas daily
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Several years ago, I did a songwriting course with David Longstreth via the excellent School of Song. In a lecture about inspiration, Longstreth evoked that famous marshmallow experiment, except with a contradictory takeaway. When it comes to ‘being inspired’, he said, delaying gratification is not the game. You got to be grabbing as many marshmallows as you can as long as there are marshmallows there.
It’s a delightful inversion of some fairly flawed, moralizing science: to be given permission to be as greedy as possible.
This week, though not specifically tied to inspiration, I’ve written about two very different ways to reach hungrily toward what we want—both in a creative and in a life sense. I hope you find it clarifying, invigorating, and permission-giving.
Love,
Lucy
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a. Dreaming
Map of lack
I wrote about positive envy in one of the very first Midnight Voice Memos newsletters. I explored the motivating power of wanting what other musicians have—be it gorgeous melodies or gorgeous guitar fingers.
What we admire in others is often a map of want we want for ourselves. But that map isn’t always as clear, or as easily come by, as I make out in my initial post. Sometimes we have a sense of lack and we have yet to crystalize its object.
For these moments, here’s a list of clarifying questions. Answer both fast and slow; all at once and as they arise. Keep the answers somewhere you can return to them easily.
If brutally honest …
what were the last few times I found myself envious of a friend’s skill or success?
what were the last few times I found myself resenting someone else’s good news or good time?
when were the last few times I found myself feeling a sense of urgency or FOMO?
After you’ve written them and as you return to them, look for patterns at two levels:
What objects, qualities, or experiences show up repeatedly?
What connective tissue do these recurring things have?
b. Doing
Today is the time box
Call it my ADHD, my ‘restless spirit’, or my Aries moon but I fkn thrive when starting and shipping a bold project the same day.
This won’t be true for everybody, but those who resonate know that “chipping away” at an idea simply won’t do. Punishing deadlines are motivating, and some of us don’t feel alive without them!
For years now, I’ve been using this Frankenstein’s monster of time-boxing, eating the frog and (I guess) MVPs to hurl myself towards the completion and shipping of projects. Despite this thrilling violence, it’s a delicate art. One I’d like to think I’ve honed.
Here’s how to use today as a time box for art or ideas.
[1] Goldilocks the size: When defining a minimum viable product we ask ‘what’s the smallest possible version of this idea that still works?’ When using today as a time box, the question is slightly different: What’s the largest complete version of this idea I can actually make in a single day? To do this, start with something you absolutely know you can achieve and bump it up in size until it feels a little anxiety-inducing.
[2] Learn in the making: You’re diving in and not stopping for this exercise. Research and planning should only happen as part of making. Roll your sleeves up and start using your hands. Adjust instinctively and in the moment. Paint and paint over. The point is movement.
[3] ‘Ship’ daily: It counts to only share with one other person, but the idea or artwork must be shared at the end of the day. Whatever is done is what makes it done, and to honor the bargain of ‘today is the time box’ it must be shared.