When a playful approach is the wrong approach …
Meeting yourself where you are and using what you have.
When it comes to creativity, one thing that I’ve been told and have told others countless times is the importance of playfulness. The ability to become aware of a self-serious approach and switch to a lighter one is emphasized as vital time and again by creativity experts. And, to be clear, it is vital—but it’s far from the only ‘way in’ to resonant, compelling work, and often enough not the best way.
There are times when our commitment to creating rubs up against obstinate, difficult feelings—resistance, shame, a totally empty tank—and conjuring playfulness is not a possibility. In those moments, it can feel impossible to get to work.
This week I’m sharing thoughts from my own exploration of working with difficult emotions to continue being generative.
Keep going!
Lucy
FOUR DIFFICULT FEELINGS
(+ HOW TO MEET YOURSELF IN THEM AND KEEP GOING)
Deep Resistance
You could probably also call this procrastination, though procrastination can be less dire in my experience. There’s creative work to be done. You know what it is, you know how to do it, but you really don’t want to. Maybe it’s because there’s uncomfortable effort involved, or maybe it’s because you’re afraid of less than stellar output. Either way, your brain and body are like a cat refusing a full bath tub.
When this happens: Allow yourself to feel the full weight of your own lack of desire. Embody it, if you can: be still and rigid, or literally dig your heels into the ground. Whatever you do, allow the resistance rather than creating a meta layer of resistance to the erm… resistance. If and as your resistance starts to dissipate, see how it feels to ease into creative work—starting small and only continuing as your resistance subsides.
Empty Tank
For me, though it usually comes after a bout of high creative output, the sense I have an ‘empty tank’ can crop up at any time. What I am talking about here is not a simple lack of inspiration, but more of a creative exhaustion. It can be hard sometimes to tell the difference, but it can help to think of lack of inspiration as a lack of interest or excitement towards a project, whereas having an empty tank is more about energy levels.
When this happens: Rest. Rest, rest, rest. You might need a couple of days to a couple of weeks where you’re not placing the expectation of high output on yourself. If you can take that time, take it. IF, you must be generative for whatever reason try playing with the idea of “remixing” — here not used in the typical, musical sense but intended to mean taking existing elements and putting them back together in a new way. You could remix a poem, or song lyrics, or even a piece of Ikea furniture (if you really wanted).
Shame and/or Embarrassment
Sometimes we start making stuff, and very quickly critical voices demand we acknowledge our lack of talent and how shameful it is to even try! “What useless, trash fire lyrics,” the voices will say “can you imagine if somebody SAW them?!”. These voices can be so mean, and so unhelpful, and they are so, so sure they’re doing the right thing by you.
When this happens: Welcome those voice in, but don’t take them at their word. Write through their harsh judgments to find their concerns. Underneath “these lyrics are too embarrassing to show anyone” might just be a real fear: “I’ve never seen lyrics like this, and I don’t know how to tell if they’re good” or “I keep repeating myself lyrically, but I’m not sure where to find new ideas”. Get to know the real concerns of your critical voices, and work from this place rather than their judgments.
Meta-Despair
A “fun” thing that happens to me when I’m experiencing stubborn negative emotions is that my brain will often create a secondary loop of negative judgment at my experiencing difficult feelings in the first place. This tends to show up as anger or hopelessness. It’s a real doozy.
When this happens: Journalling like a moody, catastrophizing teen is my go-to when I’m overwhelmed by difficult feels and meta-judgments. Letting it all out in extreme, black and white language can be a phenomenal release. Sometimes this works best as heart-on-my-sleeve free write and other times I find sulky doodling session, complete with expressive hand movement and expletives in Sharpie, is what I need.
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