Trust the messy process: how to be comfortable not knowing
On coping with creative uncertainty
In my other life, I am a freelance strategy consultant. In the last few weeks, I’ve been kicking-off a new project. As do I’ve been experiencing a very familiar feeling: one of relative uncertainty and fuzzy confusion. This is pretty normal for projects like the one. There always seems to be a couple of weeks where I don’t quite know what I’m doing and also don’t quite know what I don’t know.Â
This reality used to give me near perpetual anxiety. I, like most people, want to deliver good work, and I want to make as few mistakes as possible while I do it. I like starting with a clear end-point in mind. I like knowing the steps along the way.Â
In the past when I felt this way, I would try to think my way to clarity. I’d game it out, make detailed plans where every second counted. It made me feel safer but it also never fully worked. There were always pivots I had not anticipated needing to make. There was always work that needed to be re-done. In other words, it was not possible for me to plan my way out of uncertainty.
I had to find another way. For me, that other way was getting comfortable with not knowing, getting comfortable taking the process a step at a time.Â
As a chronic over-thinker with a high need for control, this has … not been easy. It has taken patience and effort to reach a point where I can have no idea how tomorrow’s work will get done and sleep well regardless.Â
This week, I’m sharing some thoughts from what I’ve learned while plodding this particular path.Â
Big love and keep going!Â
LucyÂ
How to trust the mess
MEMO - Remind yourself of what tends to happen
When uncertainty abounds, it’s easy to catastrophize about the future. The thoughts come fast and unbidden, and you have to work to correct them. One way to do this is to anchor in past experiences and ask yourself, ‘what’s the likely outcome, given what’s happened in similar situations in the past?’. Has this ‘not knowing’ ever led to painful or embarrassing outcomes? How badly have things ever gone off the rails and how was it fixed? The answers for me are: Rarely, not really at all, and with minimal fuss plus and honest conversation. My point is it’s often not as bad as we think it will be to not have all the answers from the outset. We can ease a lot of stress for ourselves by answering pragmatically the question: What’s most likely to happen next?Â
MEMO - Take the small actions you can take today
Sometimes the upshot of asking questions like the above is that you realize there are a couple of things you could do that will ease or shore up the path forward. When you identify those things that are best done today, do them. The sense of ease it offers to know you have pushed forward, even a little bit, is worth whatever attendant discomfort. Â
MEMO - Remember, there is opportunity in uncertainty
If we’re going to imagine the worst, we can at the very least give ourselves the gift of also imagining the very best. The wonderful thing about uncertainty is that it allows ample room for both. Spending time thinking about how things might go right because you don’t have the answers can have a powerfully uplifting and stabilizing effect. Â
I’d love to hear from you in the comments: How do you respond when you find yourself faced with creative uncertainty?